WAVing Our Dicks at the Movies II

The RealAudio Experiment

By Paul St. Fakename, Esq., Rob Reuter and Brian Apprille

Editors' Note 2006: Forget what you're reading above and below this note; all the sound clips linked below are good, old-fashioned MP3s, the way God intended. Sorry about the six years of the RealAudio thing? What can I say? It was 2000. We were young, and we didn't know that RealPlayer made it possible for the good folks at Real Media to find out that you spent an average of 48 minutes a day clicking through at ICantBelieveIAteTheWholeHorsePenis.gov.

Editors' Note: We at The American Jerk are great cinema fans. Therefore, we are proud to present this comprehensive collection of some of the finest motion picture sound clips that we, personally, have ever mangled and chopped apart for humorous effect.

We originally swore that we would never attempt to revisit our original attempt to make our favorite movies sound stupid, because we understood that the time required by our readers to download the large WAV files could be better spent tracking down naked pictures of Minnie Driver, or perhaps Minnie Mouse (Some of our readers are not that bright).

However, we have never been ones to ignore the march of technology. Therefore, we are proud to present these retarded clips for the first time in streaming RealAudio format. This will require the RealPlayer browser plug-in, which is a free download. Frankly, we don't give a damn if you use RealPlayer or not; we just wanted to be the first non-porno site to use the words "plug-in" and "load" in a single sentence.

 For the luddites out there, we have collected all these clips in a single ZIP archive (Editors note 2006: No, we haven't). 

The Blair Witch Project	Jerry Maguire	Reservoir Dogs	Speed
Full Metal Jacket	Star Trek	Forrest Gump	It's A Wonderful Life
	The Wizard of Oz	Pulp Fiction

Main Archive Table of Contents

January, 2000 Table of Contents

Screwloose   Blaming Your Wife   Politically Incoherent

Month In Pictures   Squinty the Monkey

WAVing Our Dicks II   Meet Your Mate Online

The American Jerk™ and all contents © 1999 - 2005 by Rob Reuter and Paul St. Fakename, Esq., © 2006 by Rob Reuter.