I never thought something like this could happen to me, but boy, was I wrong!
I am a Minister of Foreign Affairs for a northern country in North America. The other night, I found myself hanging out at yet another boring diplomatic function, with the same skanks and the same uptight bitches as every night. I had resigned myself to another night of a couple of drinks before going home to watch fetish chainsaw porn and crank one out when she came in.
She immediately caught my eye, walked right up to me, started rubbing my crotch through my suit and my woolen long johns, and said, “In our time we have an historic opportunity to shape a global balance of power that favors freedom and that will therefore deepen and extend the peace.” Looks like I was gonna get a deep and extended “peace” after all!
We were all over each other on the way out to my limo. In between tongue thrusts into my ear, she told me her name. She’s someone you might have heard of, but since I’m a gentleman, I’ll just call her Dr. Condoleeza R.
We got in the car and kept going at it, but since I’m not very experienced, I told Condi that I wanted to fuck her in the ass, and she got all upset. “Unfortunately on a path right now where relations are not improving, but are worsening,” she said, making for the car door. I told Condi it was just the Molson talking, and she grinned and invaded my pants to get her hands on the Bagh-dad again.
When we got back to my place, Condi got naked, went to her purse and pulled out the handcuffs. Hot damn, eh! “We’ve always said that we were not going to have a cookie-cutter approach,” Condi said as she strapped me down and started working on my nipples.
I wanted to fuck Condi bareback, but she refused and pulled out a Trojan, saying, “We need a common enemy to unite us.” When I told her I hated rubbers, she said, “We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.” I’d already been to the free clinic once for a case of the cloudy mushroom, so I relented and I let her wrap up the ol’ Tim Horton Cruller.
Condi reverse cowgirled me until I told her I was about to bust a nut. So she jumped off me, ripped off the condom and handled what had to be a quart of gunk from my Fat Back Canadian Bacon. “This is an historic moment for both sides, and the commitment of both sides to a successful disengagement process has been impressive,” she said, licking her lips.
As I caught my breath, I asked Condi if she’d be sticking around, because there were things that I, as well as every red-blooded Canadian man wanted to try. Condi fixed me with her haughty, cool, aristocratic gaze and said, “We have an opportunity – and an obligation – to help them turn this desire into reality.”
Yup. You guessed it. Right in the shitter.
Signed: Peter MacK.
[tags]Condoleeza Rice, Peter MacKay, Match Up Diplomacy, dark humor, political humor, satire[/tags]
