Yeah, I know I said I’d wrap the whole Comic Con thing up, with pictures, by today at the latest, but what can I tell you? I was stymied.
I was literally on my way to drop my film off at the single One Hour Photo in town that’s never looked at my prints and immediately called the Department of Homeland Security, when my landlord called and said he had no evidence that I’d paid my rent this month. Which meant I spent an hour and a half on the Internet getting a copy of my cancelled check to run to the post office to send Certified Mail. To be fair, it would have taken fifteen minutes, but I spent an hour or so trying to Google “How to send a white phosphorous hand grenade through Certified Mail.”
Besides; thanks to my recent layoff I’m looking for work, and since Matt Amorello, the douche in charge of the Boston Big Dig Tunnel that collapsed, quit today, I figured it’s time to polish up my resume.
Matt made around a quarter million a year to oversee this deathhole under Boston. So I figure I’m a shoo-in for that sweet state cash, since it seems that all it takes to run that project is to make a project plan that sounds like a fucking fraternity prank.
“Why should you hire me? Well, the last guy who had the job had the plan of getting a bunch of shitfaced construction workers together to start plowing Boston’s hole while she was sleeping, and spray goo around indiscriminately while rifling her purse, and then get away before she knew what was happening to her, and fuck the consequences. There were a thousand guys at that party, so you can’t prove he laid a hand on her.
“My plan? Much more sophisticated. We start with a case of Corona. Then we’ll need ketamine, Astroglide, a Twister mat and a goat…”
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More Comic-Con tomorrow, I swear.
[tags]Big Dig, Matt Amorello, Mitt Romney, Nerd Prom, Comic Con, dark humor[/tags]
