From The American Jerk Syndicated Press. All Rights Reserved.
By Rob Reuter, Staff Reporter
October 15, 2009 – Fort Collins, CO – Some air traffic to Denver International Airport was briefly diverted today due to an uncontrolled homemade helium balloon that was reportedly accidentally released by a Fort Collins family this morning.
The runaway twenty-foot-long balloon approached within fifteen miles of the airport, requiring air traffic controllers to divert incoming northbound aircraft until the balloon’s position could be accurately pinpointed on radar. Air traffic was returned to normal after the balloon was acquired on radar, and general airport operations were not affected. The diversion lasted for 15 to 20 minutes, spokespeople for Denver International Airport said.
The balloon, built by Richard Heene of Fort Collins, landed in a field at 1:35 p.m. While initial reports indicates that a child may have been aboard the balloon, the child was later found at home, and no injuries were reported, officials said.
I spent four years and more than $80,000 being trained to observe events, distill them down to the important facts, and write news reports like that. Considering how the news media is actually reporting on them? I should’ve spent the money on a fucking Ferrari.
[tags]Balloon Boy, Falcon Heene, Richard Heene, hoax, dark humor, satire[/tags]
