Sorry to be brief (again), but the appraisal on the new place came in. It’s valued at $20,000 more than we’re paying for it.
With God as my witness, I don’t know what I should be more excited about: That there’s $20,000 in immediate home equity that I can borrow against if an emergency happens?
Or that I can immediately cause $20,000 in hideous property damage for the sheer, drunken, lunatic thrill of it and still break even?
Well, $19,895 worth of hideous property damage. I wouldn’t want to be out of pocket on the keg of Sam Adams and the ten-pound sledge. Expenses count against the bottom line when you’re a homeowner.
Actually, let’s call it $18,895. I don’t want to speculate on what the bail might be, but experience gives me a pretty good idea.
Be funny dammit! Hell, I have to go to Amanda’s page for teh funnee now. Thanks a lot, Captain Bringdown.
Well, it’s better than a swift kick in the balls, almost.
I know it took me forever to get here. I suck. So, is the place ready for me to drink at yet? Dumb Question, I know. It was ready :01 seconds into the move.
But I am thirsty!
No Sully, you dont suck, Reuter sucks. Can you imagine this fucktard as a homeowner?
*Cut to a small leak under the kitchen sink*
Reuter: Hmmm… we’re gonna have to get that fixed.
Amanda: Yup, call the plumber.
Reuter: OK
*Cut to the Amanda/ Reuter pool 56 days later*
Amanda: Did you call the plumber?
Reuter: What do I look like, a botanist?
Yeah, he’s a piece of work all right…
Update your fucking site or I’ll [insert threat here].
(why should I put forth the effort, if you won’t?)