Tag Archives: Xbox 360

The Last Temptation of Netflix, Part 2

Posted on March 31, 2010 by Rob Reuter

And now it’s time for the Last Supper, except Scorsese stages it as all the disciples eating on the ground in a big square, thus allowing Marty to implicit call Leonardo da Vinci a dissembling hack… although if you pause the movie and look at how everyone is seated, where things are placed and how background objects are arranged, a secret message becomes impossible to ignore! That message is: you are drunk as a lord and bored shitless by this fucking movie. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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The Last Temptation of Netflix, Part 1

Posted on March 30, 2010 by Rob Reuter

The Last Temptation of Christ starts with Jesus, living in poverty and working hard on a contract gig making crucifixes for the Romans, which immediately punted my suspension of disbelief since there has never been a contractor that finished on time without skimming ten percent off the top before subcontracting the actual work to Mexicans (And don’t give me any shit about this being Israel 2,000 years ago. He was Jesus. If Jesus wanted Mexicans to handle the scut work, there would be Mexicans, you fucking blasphemer). Continue reading →

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Mass Erect

Posted on February 3, 2010 by Rob Reuter

I’m Space Jesus. And no matter what I do, I can’t get Space Jesus’s dick wet. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Posted in Foul-Mouthed Demagoguery, General Jabbering | Tagged | 5 Comments

Metasports

Posted on September 28, 2009 by Rob Reuter

But in video games she drives like a meth head at three minutes to midnight with a trunkful of dead hookers, a bumper full of cop GPS trackers and a KFC gift card that expires tomorrow. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Blu-Rays and Red Rings

Posted on October 6, 2008 by Rob Reuter

When I was ten my dad came home with an Atari, and this was back when it was still called the Atari Video Computer System. Ostensibly it was because my brother and I had been helpful around the house while my mom was in a full leg cast after a skiing accident, but after watching my dad gleefully mowing down racks of space invaders, I think he would have said it was a reward for not being thalidomide flipper children if it meant getting the damn thing into the house. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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