EXTERIOR, DAY: A mustachioed villain in a top hat carries a struggling damsel over her shoulder and approaches the railroad tracks. He throws her down and ties her to the tracks with heavy rope. The Damsel struggles while the villain twirls his mustache. CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) VILLAIN: You must pay the rent!
(TITLE CARD) DAMSEL: I can’t pay the rent!
CUT TO: A steam locomotive barrels down the tracks toward the damsel!
CUT TO: The damsel struggling mightily, while the villain cackles and twirls his mustache some more. CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) VILLAIN: But you must pay the rent!
(TITLE CARD) DAMSEL: But I can’t pay the rent!
CUT TO: A cowboy on a white horse rides to the scene! He dismounts with a flourish, removes a saddlebag from his horse, and smiles a mile wide! CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) COWBOY: I’ll pay the rent!
CUT TO: The cowboy proudly hands the saddlebag to the villain, who grabs it from his hands with an evil grin and scuttles away. The damsel smiles with relief. CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) DAMSEL: My hero!
(TITLE CARD) COWBOY: T’weren’t nothing, ma’am. The landlord got himself a mite overextended from buying too many slums. When housing prices dropped, he couldn’t rent apartments at a high enough price to cover his loans, and he couldn’t sell the buildings off at a profit. He was mighty close to going under, so I fronted him the money to get back on his feet, no questions asked! And hopefully he’ll remember who his friends are when I need donations to cover my run for mayor!
CUT TO: The cowboy jumps back on his white horse and starts back toward town. The damsel struggles and looks at him dolefully. CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) DAMSEL: Sir! Are you going to untie me?
(TITLE CARD) COWBOY: Are you kidding? Fuck you, lady. You can’t pay your rent.
CUT TO: The steam locomotive approaches! CUT TO:
(TITLE CARD) THE END… ?
[tags]Wall Street bailout, financial crisis, mortgage crisis, dark humor, satire[/tags]
