Category Archives: Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel

Not Trolling: The NSA Telephone Records of The American Jerk

Posted on May 12, 2006 by Rob Reuter

As proof that the NSA’s database of all American telephone calls can ONLY detect patterns to flag potential terrorists, below is yesterday’s NSA log of calls to and from The American Jerk Home Office. I hope that this will prove that there is no chance that this database could be used for any purpose except to identify those who mean to do harm to Americans… [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Posted in Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel | 1 Comment

Buck Flu: An American Jerk Guide to Avian Influenza

Posted on May 11, 2006 by Rob Reuter

Birds’ feces contain a massive volume of influenza virus. Therefore, to avoid catching the flu directly from a bird, we recommend you avoid eating chicken assholes, no matter how much you like McNuggets, or how loudly the chicken whines that it’s the only way she can get off… [click link for more] Continue reading →

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Are You Harvard University Material?

Posted on May 3, 2006 by Rob Reuter

Thank you for your interest in applying to Harvard University! As you are no doubt aware, we are accepting an incoming Freshman class size of 1,650 students. However, since we receive more than ten times that many applications, we can only afford to admit the most qualified applicants. So please take this short self test to determine if you have what it takes to be a Harvard student… [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Posted in American Jerk Self Tests, Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel | 1 Comment

Jesus Hates Tom Hanks: The Vatican’s Guide to Protesting The Da Vinci Code

Posted on April 28, 2006 by Rob Reuter

The movie version of The Da Vinci Code opens in a few weeks, and the Holy See has condemned this movie as a slur on the Church. The erroneous and fallacious “question” this story poses are more dangerous and potentially damaging to the church than “Can you point to the place on the doll where the bad man in the collar touched you?”…[read more at link] Continue reading →

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An Oil Industry FAQ to High Gas Prices

Posted on April 25, 2006 by Rob Reuter

The idea that there is some kind of conspiracy between the four major oil companies is as unfortunate as it is untrue. There is plenty of competition between us. And while we compete, we agree on tomorrow’s gas price before the cart gets to the next hole… [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Posted in Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel | 2 Comments