Category Archives: Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel

Raiders of The Lost Story Arc

Posted on March 12, 2009 by Rob Reuter

However, The American Jerk’s unofficial mascot and bagman, Ken MacDonald, has forwarded us what he insists is the actual transcript of the Raiders story conference. “Don’t ask me where I got it,” he wrote in his email, “I had a dream about Steven Spielberg and George Lucas fingercuffing the Nazi chick from Last Crusade, and when I woke up, there was blood on my keyboard and this file on my desktop.” [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Spontaneous Utterances

Posted on February 23, 2009 by Rob Reuter

Having failed miserably in my great experiment to watch all the Oscar-nominated movies before the awards ceremony, I tuned in for the same reason as everyone else who isn’t living in Hollywood, obsessed with fashion and vintage jewelry, or gay: to see if someone would go completely off the rails during a live broadcast. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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Face Dances, Track Five

Posted on February 11, 2009 by Rob Reuter

Fine. Tell you what: I’ll BUY your fucking house, drooler. Looking at this fucking sty, I’ll probably have to burn it for the insurance and sell the filthy dirt it sits on at a loss, but if it keeps you from fucking up MY shit, it’s a small price to pay.

“But…” the retard said past a quivering lower lip, “Where are we gonna go?”

I’ll tell you what: you can go FUCK yourself. How’s that sound? [read more at link] Continue reading →

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25 Random Things About YOU

Posted on February 10, 2009 by Rob Reuter

I don’t need to post random things about me for my friends to read, because they’re my friends. They already know. Hell; my high school buddy Trebuchet knows 25 random facts about me… actually, he knows fifty, but they act as binary compounds: the combination of any two would probably result in my incarceration. [read more at link] Continue reading →

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The Rise, Decline and Fall of Fredo Corleone

Posted on January 20, 2009 by Rob Reuter

Clemenza’s face went wide-eyed and innocent as he said, “Why, I had not thought of that, Don Fredo! While we would only be attacking the Stracci’s to avenge his obvious support and aide of Sollozzo, the control of shipping would be a happy, accidental bonus!” [read more at link] Continue reading →

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